It is usually more than a little fluff...

*“If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.” Winnie the Pooh

So much wisdom from a “silly old bear.” As we encounter people in our daily lives they are often experiencing more than a little fluff in their ear. Too often we have so much going on we fail to listen to or seek to understand others. We just do not have the time…things have to be done, we have places to go, appointments to keep and etc. Life is fast and busy.
In Pooh Bear’s quote it is not the fluff that is at issue rather it is the “be patient.” In our world of hurry being patient is often seen as a luxury and it is a rare commodity. Yes, we do have to make things happen, we do have places to be, and appointments to keep. However, none of those things keeps us from practicing intentional mindfulness or being patient with others and ourselves. A definition for patience, that I like, is this: “an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay; quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence.” This definition is front-end loaded by starting with the words “an ability or willingness.” The word “willingness” points directly to the fact that we have an opportunity to choose how we will interpret the actions of others and how we will respond. None of this is to say our To-do list is any less important than another’s list. What is being said is that we do not know the struggles being faced by the people we encounter nor do they know ours. They may or may not notice the gift of patience we choose to give them. Their noticing is not the point. The point is that our choice to be patient is a brief moment of grace in this busy life.
So what do we do? First, we make a choice to become patient. After choosing to become more patient make a list of the things that really push our buttons. Some examples might be traffic, waiting in line, customer service, or slow texting. If you have a hard time identifying what makes you impatient just ask those who love you. Once our list is made be aware of those situations and moments as they arise in our daily lives. The practice of patience starts when we choose to take 3 deep breaths before responding. The practice continues as we count to 10 and process/focus on what we are hearing or seeing. Choose to listen deeply to what is being said and actively decide to slow our responses. We will not always be patient but we can always choose to practice being patient.
1. Decide to be patient.
2. List our triggers for our impatience.
3. 3 deep breaths when being triggered.
4. Count to 10 or more as needed.
5. Listen deeply.
6. Respond slowly and thoughtfully.
7. Repeat from step 1 several times each day.
Grace and Peace.
Steve